


Spider!

by TheRogueHuntress



Series: Harry Potter Pairings Challenge [12]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fluff, Humor, M/M, Marauders' Era, Multi, Polyamory, Romance, Spiders, Young Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-22
Updated: 2017-08-22
Packaged: 2018-12-18 17:41:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11879541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheRogueHuntress/pseuds/TheRogueHuntress
Summary: "Are you alright, dearies?" Mrs Brown, the little old lady from down the lane, was peering over the fence. Abruptly, James felt very aware of the fact that all three of them were only in their boxers."Err… yes?"Remus rolled his eyes. "We're having a bit of a spider problem.""Oh, is that all? Would you like me to come in and get rid of it for you?"The three men exchanged a look. James wondered if his masculinity was worth braving the spider once more.





	Spider!

James fluffed up a pillow, the covers a horrendous peach that he resolved to remedy as soon as he could think his way around his wand. Peter had gifted them, and James half thought they'd been a prank, as they clashed horribly with the Gryffindor red curtains Sirius had somehow managed to acquire. At least their bedroom was cosy, with cream walls and four-poster bed large enough for three.

"Morning," Sirius said, far too cheerfully, and handed him his cuppa. The mug read 'Number One -Jogger- Prancer', the correction scrawled in Sirius' chicken scratch.

"I hate you, just a little," James said, but he took the mug of tea and sipped at it.

"Naw, Prongsy, you know you love it," Sirius replied. "I bought it just for you."

Remus chose that moment to surface. "What the fuck is your problem? It's barely eight. Go the fuck back to sleep." Then he burrowed back into the covers, and snored, loudly and pointedly.

James and Sirius exchanged a look of fond amusement, and then Sirius waved his hand in the universal gesture of budge up. James shuffled along so that Sirius could slide in beside him, coffee in one hand.

They sat for a while in serendipity, sipping their respective drinks, but James knew it wouldn't last.

"Ow!" Sirius cried, and pouted. He'd 'accidentally' spilt coffee on his crotch. "Kiss it better?"

James arched a sceptical brow. "Dream on, Pads. Maybe in the shower."

Sirius huffed, but his grin suggested that he found that idea to be palatable. James smiled back, and leaned against the headboard, resting his eyes for a moment.

When he opened them, he dropped his mug, and screamed.

"Spider!" he shrieked, and tumbled out of bed, scrambling out of the room. Sirius and Remus weren't far behind him.

"Oh Merlin, it was enormous," Sirius moaned.

"Fucking fuck spiders," Remus said, obviously not entire awake. James stared warily at the door to the bedroom.

The spider crawled out of it.

"Aah!" they yelled, and, Sirius leading the way, ran out onto the lawn.

"Fuck," Remus said, shaking himself. "Do you think it was there while we were sleeping?"

James blanched. "Oh, why did you have to say that?"

"What are we going to do?" Sirius bemoaned. "I'm never going in there again."

"Kill it with fire?" Remus suggested, looking dangerously eager.

"Anybody got their wand?" After a beat of silence, they all groaned. James ruffled a hand through his hair, and tried to think.

"I know – I'll get Lily," he said, then winced. "She's good with creepy crawlies."

"Lily, your ex-girfriend Lily, that Lily?" Sirius said dangerously. Remus cuffed him on the head.

"Don't be a twat. James has learnt the error of his ways. Lily is no longer the flower of his heart."

"I think last night I showed I'm much more interested in mowing your-"

"GRASS!" Remus interrupted. "Gentlemen, we have an audience."

"Are you alright, dearies?" Mrs Brown, the little old lady from down the lane, was peering over the fence. Abruptly, James felt very aware of the fact that all three of them were only in their boxers.

"Err… yes?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "We're having a bit of a spider problem."

"Oh, is that all? Would you like me to come in and get rid of it for you?"

The three men exchanged a look. James wondered if his masculinity was worth braving the spider once more.

"Nope. I've got it under control," Sirius growled, and marched into the house. Moments later there was the sound of a madly barking dog running wildly about the rooms. Remus giggled, before clapping a hand over his mouth in mortification.

"I didn't know you had a dog," Mrs Brown said, peering interestedly toward the entrance of the house.

"We're looking after it for a friend," James said.

Mrs Brown winked and tapped the side of her nose. "If you say so. Tenancy agreements can be quite strict, can't they?"

James bit back the urge to say the house was his. After all, no normal 'single' man lived with two other friends if he had the money to afford his own property.

"I best be off. You three have a good morning now." Mrs Brown winked again, then toddled away.

Sirius marched back out of the house. In his hands was James' new mug, a piece of parchment over the rim of it. He jogged to the edge of the garden, where it bordered on a forest, and chucked the mug and parchment as far away from him as possible.

"Ha!" he cried, and lit the parchment on fire where it drifted in the breeze with a flick of his wand.

"Sirius," Remus hissed, glancing about. "What if a muggle saw?"

Sirius, seemingly oblivious, levitated the mug, before blasting it to smithereens. "Got to set an example to all the other spiders," he said.

James couldn't help it. He began to chuckle. Soon, Remus had joined him, and Sirius turned to them with a wicked grin.

"The next arachnid to set a foot in our house will face the wrath of Sirius… Orion… ACK!"

Remus had conjured a rubber spider, and it fell onto Sirius' head.

"Cruel, Moony, that was just cruel!"

"Come on, our brave saviour. I'm going back to bed." Remus yawned, reminding them that he rarely woke before midday on the weekends.

James followed, and called over his shoulder. "If you hurry, maybe I'll kiss it better!"

Sirius yelped in delight. "I'm coming!"

"You will be!" James grinned to himself, and snuggled back into bed with Remus, who was already asleep. Sirius bounded in, and curled up beside him, peppering James with sloppy kisses like the dog he was. James smiled against his mouth, and couldn't be happier.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed, and thanks for reading. Find me on [tumblr](https://theroguehuntress.tumblr.com/) if you wanna chat, or feel free to comment!


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